Saturday, May 15, 2004

Tips for the Labor Party

With Haaretz reporting Friday that Ehud Barak is preparing to run for prime minister, and the Likud party's recent rejection of PM Sharon's plan to leave the Gaza Strip, as I ran this evening along the Tel Aviv beach I found myself formulating campaign strategy for the Labor Labor. So, what follows is an open letter to Labor, although I have serious questions about their ability to run.

[As an aside, I'm afraid that Barak is the only Laborite with the security credentials that will be needed to defeat Sharon or Netanyahu. I must confess that I'm certainly not a big fan of Barak's management style, which alienated almost everyone in his own party, nor his political savvy, which led to his quick exit and the complete collapse of the left, but who else is there? Any suggestions?]

So here's what I think the Labor candidate needs to do:

-Take responsibility for the Oslo Accords and admit that it didn't work. But stress that it didn't work because of Arafat. Demonize him. End the perception of Labor and Arafat together. No more photos of Peres and Arafat with their Nobel Prize awards. It would help if Peres would give interviews to major newspapers laying all blame on Arafat, calling him a dirty liar, a terrorist, a son of a bitch, the son of a thousand whores (I think it was the Syrian army chief who said this about Arafat a few years ago), whatever it takes.

It also wouldn't hurt to say something nasty about Yossi Beilin, who now leads the left-wing Yahad party, which used to be Meretz. I have no doubt that the typical Israeli voter, especially those who are undecided, despises him. Nothing personal, Yossi, but you come across as a smart ass, and you still insist that Oslo was a success.

-Promise you'll leave the Gaza Strip. It's like a hot coal in our hands that we're keeping just because the Palestinians want it, but we're getting burned. Get rid of it. This will highlight the fact that the Likud rejected the plan to leave Gaza, when most Israelis want to get the hell out of there.

-Promise that your peace plan will be put before the entire nation in a referendum. This will again call attention to the Likud referendum on Sharon's disengagement plan and the fact that they are out of touch with the will of the Israeli population. It will also change the impression that Oslo was done behind the backs of the Israeli people.

-Screw the religious parties. Sorry, Shimon Peres, but times have changed since the left and the typical religious voter had a common political agenda. I think the last time this was true was when photographs of Knesset members were in black and white, not color. There's no way any of the religious parties, including Shas, will support any peace plan that calls for leaving the territories. Even Ovadia Yosef, spiritual leader of Shas, came out against Sharon's plan for the Gaza Strip. And the extortion they will demand isn't worth it.

But more importantly, Labor needs to be a viable alternative for leftist Shinui voters. So adopt their platform, but without the overtly anti-religious undertones. End the funds for the corrupt religious institutions and fictional yeshivas, support civil marriage, and most importantly, call for a military draft for everyone - no exemptions for yeshiva students. No one who opposes these positions was going to vote for you anyway.

That's it for now. My ideas on the economy, student loans and job creation will have to wait until my next run along the beach.